goodbye march, hello sexy

Goodbye March. I have the joy of sharing with you that I have got 3 more pieces published. I just found out last night after we rolled in after the Great Dan Savage experience at The Kessler. I can't imagine a nicer, more honest and frank person who give his advice so freely and unapologeticlly. I can't help but think that boy he had a hell of a mom. He is just a prince. I even asked him a question privately about talking about sex with my daughter.. and he gave me reassurance that i was doing it right (!!!!) and boy what a load off my shoulders. I come from an upbringing that NEVER talked about anything sexual. For my 12th birthday I was given a copy of ' Are you there god, it's me margaret' and that was the extent of my sexual teaching. I don't know how I got where I have, and I am lucky I didn't make any mistakes. But for the most part I was terrified of any kind of sexuality until I hit about 18, and then all bets were off. I'm glad and I thank the universe I didn't get myself killed somehow. AIDS was rampant, and so was Acid and X and all sorts of stuff that could get you preggo or killed. So if anything my parents made me terrified of sex, so I guess there is that! Today I returned to my new doctor only to find out that i GAINED 12 fucking pounds in 3 weeks. Red light. They ran all sorts of tests, and are asuming its the medication, which was changed today..but I just got a letter that they want to run MORE tests on me on Monday. I'm not worried, yet. But I def feel like something might be up. I had a pap, and a pregnancy test. (negatory.. thank goodness, but for 10 minutes I ran over the thought of holding a baby in my arms again, changing diapers, teaching it to walk, talk, read and getting it to the Presidency) About 7 years ago I went baby crazy and I just thought I'd die if I didn't have another one. I had some losses, and I gave up. It's not an issue for me anymore, because I meet young parents with little ones and I can just spoil them and coddle them all I want, buy them clothes and books and talk to them all day until they go home. It's like a surrogate granny. Oh I know I'm going to be a good granny someday, at least I hope I get a chance to be. Ok where is this blog going? oh yeah So more tests on monday. I dunno. I feel really good. I love my klonopin, in fact I feel more like my old self (we are talking way back in my 20s) again. I don't know if I could function on this level without something, but for safety sake i'm booking an appointment with a shrink, so maybe just maybe I can get all this worked out. I've got a lot of living to do and I'm ready to get this on the ball. Tonight, conjuntos at The Kessler. Hell Yeah. I may be dateless, but i'll dance my ass off. Gotta get this poundage lost somehow. And tomorrow the kids reading, so I have to go buy some clementines like the last time, the kids ate them up! I'm sure there is more I need to say, and in a more poetic way since this is National Poetry Month! (hooray) so I'll write this little one right now: wind rakes my hair with its whispiness i am a dandelion with a million wishes waiting to exhale pluck me from my concrete curb crack lay me on my back and let me tumble like a bob dylan song over the meadow and onto the rusted traintracks i breathe and i'm ready to swept away... eos.