Yesterday I went to Zumba for the first time in about a year. It was a blast. I went with my 2 new friends, and although i'm the largest person in the room I felt happy and free and enjoyed the way my body moved so much easier than it used to. It was hard to be faced with all of me, wobbling and out of place, but there was laughter, and acceptance. i accept you body. fat and all. You've gotten me far and I'm making sure that i take care of you so that I can still keep going. So I have a 14 day pass, and I'm going to make the most of it. I think it will be a joy to spend 1 hour a day on myself.
After the workout we walked to the car, thru the neighborhoods at night, smelling elotes, and all the good stuff thats always cooking down in the Bishops. Fel dropped me off and I hit the shower and put on my dress and got down to the Swirl. It seemed pretty quiet and then all of the sudden it was well, madness! I had one glourious dirty martini with four olives. It was like a taste of heaven. I felt so pretty last night, and I got alot of compliments. I am learning to accept them..it's always been hard for me..but now, I just feel so good sometimes about myself, it's like a suprise gift when I like who I am. Almost like a birthday, or a suprise kiss or hug from someone you love. I'm always at my best when I feel like i'm taking care of myself. Anyway, the swirl was great, by the time I read it was pretty thinned out, and I was glad, cause I read a new rewrite that I'm still not satisfied with, but at least it sounded ok. The best part of the Swirl is talking with other poets about thier craft. Oh I can talk all day about writing! I love to hear how other people work, and what they think about the craft, and discussing other writers. The construction of art amazes me. I went to sleep last night dreaming about russian nesting dolls in the shape of all my friends..and we were all fitting inside each other happily, it moved in unending circles, and everyone was fitting into everyone and i smiled myself to sleep thinking, no one gave me this idea..what a wonderful thing imagination is! what a gift to be a writer, even if I don't capitalize everything or write things in proper form. what a gift it is to just want to write and to do it so freely without care of what anyone else thinks. I feel blessed for that. And friends. And zumba. And dirty martinis, and men who stand up when you walk into a room and make you feel beautiful. Thank you, you know who you are. <3
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