Here it is now days have passed and so many things to write about. First and foremost, my glucose levels are back to norms. Of course I probably shouldn't be drinking Blue Moons but they are so good. Second, Weir is out of jail, for now and hopefully will stay out of there forevermore. He sat on my futon cleanshaven and holding a beer when i walked in. That was the best thing in the world to see. Mags and he drove over and we held it down on the porch with delicious wind and all. Even uncle Steve was there. We asked all sorts of questions about the clink, took shots and drank beers and shot the shit all night. I love my porch meetings. Weir read 2 new pieces he wrote inside and they were a-fucking-mazing. Sober writing. His talent has no bounds and his work just keeps getting better and better. I perpetually feel humbled in his pressence. He has such a finger on the poetry of human condition.
When the night broke up after listening to music off the jeep's radio, and watching Steve spin off on his borrowed bike, we holed up in the house eating popcorn and sour pickles and watching the tube. I sank like a stone on a feather when i fell asleep. I really love sleeping now. I sleep uninterupted and fully for probably the first time in my life.
Well thats the good stuff. The bad stuff well.. should I even go there. I mean, 2 days ago I was pissed to the world, then one day ago I was depressed as hell, and now today, I just don't know how to feel anymore. Gordon Hilgers is continuing to attack me online. There, I said his damn name. I'm so tired of this passive agressive shit. I'm so tired of waking up everyday to some other gaggle of lies he's fabricated in order to smear my name. i shouldn't have to be dealing with his fucked up shit. He's being vindictive and cruel. And yes, we were friends for over 15 years. Not just 2 weeks. That hurts. And no, I'm not going to forgive him for the things he said about my business, my life, my family, my RELIGION, my RACE and my CLASS. So everyone out there, just forget about it. Mental issues aside, he seems perfectly capable to function in the manner he chooses when he chooses to. And no I will never shake his hand. Something has been going on for a while now that makes people thing that its OK to attack me. It isn't. I don't know who you think I am, but i'm not a wilting flower anymore. I've effectively kicked away all the shitheads in my life, and Gordon is the last of that bunch. He's been a user, and abuser, and I'm over it. I am protecting myself. There must be some grand perception that my life is so much better than everyone elese. I'm just as broke, broken and confused as anyone else. Leave me alone and I promise I will never look in your direction again. Oh and another thing, please call me a bitch. I consider that a compliment. I was never your Yoko. I've always been Opal.
So now thats out of the way, and we shall never speak of it again.
on another note The meds have normalized me. NORMAL. It's itching at me, so I'm probably going to be working at crazy ideas to help me feel well, more normal for me. I want to paint. Or sculpt. Or streak down Davis st. I'm just warning you. :)
But for today, more bookselling, more LastFM on Tears for Fears Radio. Not in the nude, yet.
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